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August 2007 Archives

August 5, 2007

The Volunteer State Bulldogs Association Show

I have performed in many different venues for various groups. Movie theaters, marinas, retirement communities, and even churches. This past Saturday evening, I performed for an organization that supports pit bulls and their proper treatment. Not all pit bulls are bad and these little guys behaved like champs. This was on a big old ranch in the small town of Milton, Tennessee. The ranch was tucked away nicely from the main road but because of the severe weather Milton just received before we got there, the back roads to the ranch was not for a Ford Taurus but a GM Hummer.

The show was put together by Gary Dull. Ben Bergman, Leslie Nash and myself made up for the other comics on the show. We were told that there were going to be around four hundred people at the event. Driving to the gig and seeing the black skies we were more concerned if there was going to be a show. But there was and we'll get to that in a minute.

We show up and see that there was around fifty or so that braved the weather for the entertainment, bonfire and unlimited hot dogs. Here's the thing, the bonfire was about twenty feet tall and thirty feet wide. They better have fifty foot long sticks. The fire was lit by an artillery shell firework and that was cool since they added diesel to dry out the wet pile of logs and brush. Whammo! That thing went and every body in a twenty mile radius was warm for the night.

The band played two sets and then we were scheduled to go up and then the band would go on a finish the night out. During the wait we got hungry but we wanted to fire to die down so we could get close enough to cook our hot dogs. But when it comes to two stories of nature burning, it could take a few days for that. So like a dumb person I go and brave the heat so I can eat. I cooked in fifteen second intervals. I'm no scientist but I know a zillion degrees when I feel it. My eye brows are some what missing now. It took forever to cook two hot dogs.

The band rapped up their second set and it was time to get the show going. It was weird to perform where the front row is fifty feet away. And it was difficult to gauge the crowd from that distance too. Show must go on, you know? After I rapped up the best of The Loyded News I brought up Ben Bergman. For performing for only six months, Ben is getting some cool new experiences under his belt early. Ben did good and then I brought up Leslie Nash. The crowd just loved Leslie and when don't they? She's easy to fall for.

After Leslie wrapped up I brought up the Headliner, Gary Dull. This is were we watched Gary unload his almost complete arsenal of funny. No one was expecting this. Neither was the band waiting to play their third and final set. Did the comics mind? Nope. Did the crowd mind? Hell no! They couldn't hear enough of Gary Dull. But did the band mind? Oh yes they did. The odd reason why they were complaining was because it was ten on a Saturday night and one guy had an hour drive home and another had an hour and a half drive to home. Well that sounded pretty weak to me so I didn't do a thing. Then the bass player tried to get Gary's attention and to wrap it up. Gary didn't want a part of that and asked the crowd which did they want? They wanted more Gary and hardly anything for the band. It was great and I wish I video taped it.

Gary wrapped up almost an hour later from when he started and then I brought every body back up to take a final bow (wow) before we headed back home. All in all, including the weather running off over three hundred people and leaving fifty'ish, I had a great time and I can't wait to do it again.

August 12, 2007

Chris Loyd & Friends Comedy Show Version 2.1

Looking for something to do on a Monday Night? Tired of cooking after working one of the worst days of the week? Do you also need your fill of live, stand-up comedy? Well look no further! You'll find out there is nothing better than a night out at:

[b]Big Tony's Pizza[/b]
4054 Andrew Jackson Way
Hermitage, Tennessee 37076
(615) 391-9099

*FREE Stand-Up Comedy from 7:00-9:00PM!
*FREE Hand Tossed Pizza (with the purchase of one drink item) from 5:00-8:00PM!
*$5 Unlimited Mugs of Bud Light & Miller Lite from 4:00-8:00PM!
*$1 Drafts till 10:00PM!
*$3 Well Drinks from 8:00-10:00PM!
*No Cover!

Now that sounds like a great time. See you there.

August 27, 2007

Double Wide Liars

My friend Ben Bergman just celebrated his Birthday at the Paradise Park Trailer Resort. I was very excited about going there since I haven't let my girl friend's ears take a break from me talking about that place since I saw them on TV. It was a WKRN Channel 2 news piece on how the Nashville Predators effect down town businesses and they had interviews with some of the bar and club managers. Well they interviewed the lying manager for Paradise Park Trailer Resort and he was hard selling what they had to offer. Like live music (which they had), six dollar pitchers of Pabst Blue Ribbon (which they had), and all you can eat tater tot competition (WHICH THEY DIDN'T HAVE!!!!!).

Do you know the damage I can inflict on a pan of freshly fried tater tots? I've seen crabs legs run off the top of a Chinese buffet table seeing me coming at them. There are certain foods I can gluttonize on and tater tots are one of them. I asked the bar tender when do they have the contest? She didn't know what I was talking about. There's a surprise. She got me a guy who said he was the manager. He started talking about starting at five pounds of tater tots and obviously wasn't the manager since he had no clue and took me to another guy. This guy was either the real manager or just shot it straight to me. He informed me that there was no all you can eat tater tot competition and it's just a gimmick to get people in. I was so crushed. Saying there is and there really isn't the whole time there really isn't a tater tot competition is not cool. Not at all. I gave him my card with contacts and told him he needs to make this good. Let's see if this local "I need your business" character can keep his televised word. I'll let you know. But don't hold your breath because I'm not going to either.

About August 2007

This page contains all entries posted to Chris Loyd's BlAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHg in August 2007. They are listed from oldest to newest.

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